I am a bad bad person

NEW MUSIC MACHINE MONSTER

I'll have more things to say about the show later if I feel arsed, but suffice to say that Session 3-5 is a fun concept mix of "complicated music," while Session 3-6 is probably one of my better music mixes, minimal commentary, and a few amusing technical errors. Also, SUPPLY SIDE JESUS.

Sparkle Death Die! Session 3-5, Part I: http://www.mediafire.com/?abumdzznzjx
Sparkle Death Die! Session 3-5, Part II: http://www.mediafire.com/?mizg2ijo2mg

Sparkle Death Die! Session 3-6, Part I: http://www.mediafire.com/?ymqoztgko0m
Sparkle Death Die! Session 3-6, Part II: http://www.mediafire.com/?jyzzmri2dyd

YOU'VE

GOT WHAT I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEohgodtheblood.

So, hey. Sparkle Death Die! is back, and on a Tuesday midnight name. Holy fuck, it is awesome. No more panicking that OH GOD I REALLY WANT TO PLAY THIS BIG BLACK SONG BUT IT'S GOT SO MANY FUCKS. Even when I had the show at 10PM and could play pretty much every curse but "fuck," I was still feel pretty hands-tied. I don't even know how people can play stuff before that time. Oh wait, because they're INDIE ROCK PUSSIES AHNANANANANAAAA.

So, archived shows, yes?

Sparkle Death Die! Session 3-0
http://www.mediafire.com/?mx1ezjzmqrj (Part I)
http://www.mediafire.com/?enknzmmimaj (Part II)

Sparkle Death Die! Session 3-1
http://www.mediafire.com/?rayyxnfould (Part I)
http://www.mediafire.com/?dhwzilifkum (Part II)

These two are from fill-in shows I did before the radio season started proper. They were both at 8PM. Surprisingly non-shitty, though nothing really exciting.

Sparkle Death Die! Session 3-2
http://www.mediafire.com/?mjgcq0qwvzy (Part I)
http://www.mediafire.com/?yzmlkqtj1to (Part II)

This is where the magic happened. This show was pretty goddamned awesome in both music and mic, and while I've probably had better shows, things came together really, really well. So give it a listen, whoever the hell is reading this, willya?

I've also been doing reviews for the radio station's sort of blog thing. I'm probably doing it completely wrong, as I'm generally negative (but seriously how am I supposed to like Thrice they are everything that is wrong with hard music these days), though I found a few gems, and it totally lets me feel like I can leak advance music WHENEVER I WANT. Not that I would, of course. Nope.

sparkle like a butterfly, die like a bee infested with parasites

SUP, BITCHES.

Sparkle Death Die! Session 2-1 (Part I) 

Sparkle Death Die! Session 2-1 (Part II)

Sparkle Death Die! Session 2-2

So, your New Heaven Salesman finally got off his ass, and after a couple of fairly abortive shows (one due to sickness, the other due to general depressive ennui), the new year of Sparkle Death Die! is finally producing something worth listening to, at least if you're a pathetic fool of fools.

Even better, I took some time to improve the whole experience, as much as could be steamlined and improved.  Things are still on Mediafire, but I decided that the whole process of saving things to a zip file is pretty silly, so you'll now just be downloading the MP3 by itself.  I'm pretty much using youtube clips to bridge the CD changing, and I'm sure no one actually cares about the track listings, though I'll still be posting one for the first show at the end of this crap.

Additionally, if you're some kind of AUDIO NAZI, the show should sound markedly better.  Previously I had just been ripping the CD from Windows Media Player and feeling a little bit of guilt each time.  I finally bothered to learn Audiograbber and LAME, so now you'll be hearing some VBR (variable bit-rate) goodness.  It's the same size as previous versions, but with the good parts sounding that much more awesome.

Now, as for the shows themselves. Session 2-1 is basically my Valentine's Day show.  The commentary is a little off (though still fun if you like seeing me completely drawing a blank), but the real triumph, at least for myself, if putting together a dynamic theme show.  I decided that playing just love songs or just cynical anti-love songs would be dull and silly, so the theme was a sort of exploration of different stages in the romantic process, from conception to total failure.  It's been than it sounds, promise.

Session 2-2 is the hour long show I was obligated to play even though undergrad break was completely underway.  I was also laboring under a 36-hour period of awaketime, and holy crap I was on edge.  So, the music is okay, but you should definetely download this if one enjoys my rants, since I could feel pretty secure that no one was actually listening.  I avoided actual swears, but it's enough to say that by the end I was playing the new Third Eye Blind single and yelling at it (which isn't to say it doesn't deserve to be yelled at.  IT DOES).

Anyway, download and love love love.

PLAYLIST FOR SESSION 2-1:

That Handsome Devil - Pills for Everything - A City Dressed in Dynamite 

Nous Non Plus - Thief Like Me - Menagerie 

The Bad Plus - Long Distance Runaround - For All I Care 

The Shaky Hands - Show Me Your Life - Lunglight 

Apocalyptica -  Romance - Cult 

Kahimi Karie - Clip Clap - K.K.K.K.K. 

Advantage Lucy - How Do You Feel - Station 

Cat Stevens - Hard Headed Woman - (Tea For The Tillerman)

The Magnetic Fields - The Way You Say Good-Night - 69 Love Songs (Disc 2) 

Laika - Moccasin - Good Looking Blues 

Firewater - Bad, Bad World - Psychopharmacology 

Brainiac - K155 M3, U Jack3d Up J3rk - Hissing Prigs In Static Couture 

Deerhoof - Vivid Cheek Love Song - The Runners Four 

Handsome Boy Modeling School - Sunshine - So...How's Your Girl? 

Cibo Matt - Aguas De Março -  Red Hot + Latin Redux 

Fantastic Plastic Machine - Love Is Psychedelic - beautiful 

Elysian Fields - How to die - The Afterlife 

RUSSELL SIMINS - I'm not a model - Jet Set Radio Future Soundtrack 

Death from Above 1979 - Romantic Rights - You're a Woman, I'm a Machine 

Consonant - Post-Pathetic - Consonant 

Unwound - Valentine Card / Kantina / Wer - Fake Train 

Scratch Acid - She Said - The Greatest Gift 

Mother Mother - Ghosting - O My Heart 

Tom Waits - Alice - Alice 

The Gun Club - John Hardy - Miami 

Bob Dylan - Simple Twist of Fate - Blood on the Tracks 

The Silver Jews - Honk if You're Lonely - American Water 

(27 total)

CAUSE I'M THE AD MAN

Oh man.  I'm going to start making these and posting them around campus, nevermind the fact that this school is basically the last place that is going to get what these are about.

the red jumpsuit apparatus

I try to give artists a fair shake these days.  Usually I can find something vaguely likeable about them, something that paints a small blank spot in my overall musical genius aspect.  While I'll always have my favored standbys, I do give most artists their fair shakes, even if I never listen to them again because Cop Shoot Cop's Ask Questions Later is more entertaining to hear for the 20th time than most albums are to hear a second time.

But jesus, I cannot find anything to reccomend about Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

I downloaded it randomly, and despite its apparent massive popularity among massive faggots, I had never heard of it.

I'll give them this much:  they made their shittiness apparent from the beginning.  There's no mistaking their sound, and its specific targetting of kids with dyed hair and those utterly retarded big belt things.  The first song has the prereqs of all terrible modern rock:

1) SCREAMING

2) Choruses that are all long-distance crooning competitions

3) Utterly retarded hooks that are designed for very bad mix CDs to inspire.

I think the most damning thing I can write about this band is that in order to listen to this shit to get a handle on the pure awful, I made sure to turn off last.fm's scrobbling to make sure that no one would ever get the indication that I ever listened to this for any reason besides trying to understand that in a world where vast scads of likeable pop music exist, millions of kids are totally grooving to this utter bullshit.  At least Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana have a genuinely appealing production sound that I can good-naturedly mock.  A proper review of this bullshit would just be a stream of curses, and maybe some retard noises.

OH WAIT there's a song about domestic violence that totally redeems things 

ha ha no

THE SPARKLE FINALITY

Session 10, Part I: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mlnfz1nnynm

Session 10, Part II: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?z4mr4yhjmhv

Session 11, Part I: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?idfoiyjte2j

Session 11, Part II: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?gmgje3w23yl

The usual drill applies.  The first parts of each session includes a playlist, the second part of Session 11 includes the song played while CDs were changed.

Also, if you're looking for Session #9, it was awful.  The lesson learned is that I have a ways to go before I try to do a coherent narrative through an entire show.  Eeeesh.

Session 10 was played early at night, which meant the FCC was fully in force, which consequently meant that playing stuff from a good part of my collection was a risky gamble, unless I just played the famous singles which I was totally sure were clean.  And where's the fucking fun in that?  As a result, I just decided to play all my nerd music, though it's still actually a fairly rocking mix, as even the video game music I played was almost completely from different hard rock remix covers.  Still, you probably shouldn't listen to this unless you are interested in listening to things that would please weeabos.

Session 11, however, is easily my best mix.  It took a goddamned semester, but I'm finally comfortable talking into the microphone, to the point that I almost sound natural between sets.  In fact, if there was any problem with this show, it was probably that I rambled a little too much.  Music wise, I'm pretty fucking satisfied.  The theme tends a little towards noise music, but there's an insane amount of variety overall, and all of it kicked ass, in my hateful little opinion.  If you actually want to know how Sparkle Death Die! sounded in my idealistic soul when I first decided FUCK MY GRADES I WANT TO DO A RADIO SHOW, this is the place to start, sadly enough.  It also pumps me up for the next semester, as the learning period is over, and I can finally start bringing this destroyer of shitty music tastes to bear.

So, stay tuned for next year, Sparklenauts, Deathnauts, and Die!nauts.

Hee.